Inner me vs Outer me

“Go, do it. What are you waiting for?” The inner me wants this outer me to be more active, less fearful, more energetic, and bolder, but I’m not sure how to crack the outer me to let the inner me have some fun, without consuming a Venti Chai Tea Latte (oh the caffeine does wonders). Lately, I’ve been wondering how I became so overly adult, not allowing the adventurous inner me discover, and play without making a quick decision to poopoo ideas. A recent trip to Malibu with friends opened my eyes to my actions. Though at first I sour faced the idea of going to the beach for a few hours, once I was there, I had a great time. It wasn’t at all what I presumed it would be.

The arm wrestle within went something like this:

Initial Reaction

Outer me: “I don’t like sitting in the sun for hours on end doing nothing, it’s boring and too hot for this fair skin. Plus, I have a double header volleyball game later, I’ll be exhausted to play.”

Inner me: “This would be fun, do it.”

Trip to Beach

Inner me: “This is going to be a blast, look at everyone who can get away for the day. We should go more often. I really want to ride with everyone else.”

Outer me: “I hope we don’t stay long, I have commitments to attend and need to be there on time. Knowing this group, we will stay longer than I anticipate. I need to drive separate.”

Outer me Driving

Inner me: ”What is this idiot doing trying to parallel park on PCH?”

Outer me: “Someone is going to get hurt. The traffic is bad, he has no blinker on, what is he thinking?” Honk horn and did a face of an angry driver.

Inner me: “I wish I could take these corners faster, woohoo! Ooo, look at the pelicans, the waves, and the surfers. I would enjoy stopping and watching for a bit.”

Outer me: “Why is my friend driving so fast? I’m struggling to keep up with him. Where’s the fire?”

At the Beach

Outer me: Silence

Inner me: “Wow! What a sight.These stairs are anciently old and cool looking.” Took pictures

Outer me: “One wrong step and your toast, you could fall and split your skull, slow down.”

Inner me: ”Stop being a poopoo head and go to the rocks to take pics, you know you want to. Don’t forget to go step in the water, it’s a must at every beach.”

Outer me: Silence

The rest of the day I heard almost nothing out of the outer me after arriving at the beach, until I needed to leave.

At the Restaurant

Outer me: “What time is it? I need to set my alarm for the latest I can leave and still make it home in time to change for the game. So, the plan is to get dinner to go and prepay so I can just leave.”

Inner me: “I hear you Outer me, but I want to stay longer, take in the atmosphere, spend this good day with friends. Why do you have to leave? Call and tell the team you can’t make it.”

Outer me: “Inner me, that would be irresponsible, you know we need to leave.”

Inner me: Sigh

So, now that I’ve identified my outer poopooness, how do I get back to having adventures without my overly adult chiming in. The last few days I’ve been saying, “yes” to a variety of social adventures, inner is taking over quickly after the identification. Yet, outer me is screaming from the locked gate, “think about what you are doing!”


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