7:55am prayer, Father, don’t allow me to get in the way of Your purpose today.
The door shuts behind me as I frantically pat my pockets for the room key. Acknowledging I have it I press 1 as my stomach flip flops at the downward motion. Ding, the door opens and I step out under high ceilings and circulated air, scanning the lounge areas, as I beeline for the restaurant, in hopes to find the best places my laptop and I can converse, when I tire of sitting in 401.
After breakfast, I am more mentally and physically awake. I step on the elevator, a rush upward only takes seconds before the door dings again. I unlock my door with purpose and prepare for my day. Five minutes after opening my laptop, I find myself here:
Trapped I am. “Do Not Disturb” dangles on the other side of the handle. Today I am to write, be creative, think. But instead, I am distracted by the sounds just outside my window.
I recant the things I heard throughout the night: at least two people were pulled over by the police, drilling and dumping from the midnight crew making progress on the roads, and I could have sworn a plane was going to land on me at 1am. Then, when the sun woke up Chicago, a truck backed up and hydraulic lifted something, and now, fire engines race to a rescue, cars speed beyond the limit, and the jack hammer sounds like it’s going to come through my ceiling.
Yep, still thinking. Still creative. And indeed, still writing, but the focus isn’t on what I had hoped it would be on.
11:00am prayer (thank you The River Walk for devotional prayers that help me walk more behind Jesus and less on my own), God help me let go of the things I hold so tightly to, so that I can receive what You are offering to me.
Perfect timing if you ask me, these distractions and expectations are likely what God is asking me to let go of. So, what is it Lord, what are you offering me today? Why am I in Chicago writing in 401 when I really want to go to the lounge where distractions are in an abundance? Where should I be and what should I be doing?
My hand reaches for a book I’ve been reading with fervor, I was Blind (Dating), But Now I See, by Stephanie Rische. The pages feather past my thumbs until I see my bookmark tucked in the pages where I left off. Minutes later, the last page turns and words come to an end. Not how I anticipated the book to end. So…not what Lord? As if gathering all I have read wasn’t enough, I reach for the last cookie, disposing the wrapper atop the other garbage I’ve consumed within the last thirty minutes and guzzle water as though I’ve been walking in the desert for days. Parched.
1:00pm reminder, a quote from the book I was just reading, I was Blind (Dating), But Now I See. “In order to get to the new beginning, we have to go through the pain of this season ending.”
“Oh how I look forward to some seasons ending,” says impatience dancing on my left shoulder, as patience whispers from my right, “you are where you are supposed to be.” Having experienced many seasons in the past two years, I’m not sure which one I am in now. It seems I have fallen in a cycle of overlapped seasons.
A time of:
Waiting – for a God fearing, Jesus loving, humorous man with 1 Timothy 3:2-4, 7 characteristics. Perhaps that’s a little too far fetched in the eyes of humans, but I have faith that God knows exactly who I need.
Trust and Patience – I had shared with my bible study recently that I feel like a piece of ice floating down the river. God leading me where He wants me. I may see something up on the riverbank and desire to have it, but ultimately He is the river, and chooses to either drift me to shore or move me onward down stream toward something He knows I need more.
Rest – After recently relocating to the mid-west, from the west coast. My life had been full of stress and survival. My move has brought me into a season of rest, preparing me for a time of fulfillment. But it’s no easy task to just rest.
Seeking – Finding Jesus in the early mornings, conversing with Him throughout my day, and leaning on Him in joy, confusion, and trials. I have this vision that He and I are curled up on the couch, me on one side and He on the other facing each other. I am pouring my heart out, asking questions, and waiting to hear His spoken word.
I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. Proverbs 8:17
3:00pm still hunkered down in 401, food is gone, but surprisingly, I’m not starving, water was replenished, creative picture taken, and today’s reminding lesson received.
Thank you Chicago and 401 for my random lesson today:
Even though I may get swallowed by life at times, as long as I am secured to my Anchor I will never be lost.