I’m awake, it’s dark, and sounds from the television are muffled under my door. It must be morning, but why is it so dark? Slow to rise, I limber my legs over the edge of the bed to look at the clock; 2:30am. I debate laying back down, but the urgency to pee is pushing on my inner walls and I can’t hold it any longer.
Tip toeing across the floor, as if I will be heard, I slowly turn the knob and stagger sleepy eyed out into the hallway. After a sigh of relief, I glance to find my grandmother sleeping in her recliner with the television on. Like a thief in the night, I take the remote and turn off the t.v., laying the remote back to it’s original place and head back to bed.
Just a few more hours; I just need a few more hours to sleep, to rejuvenate, to gain my barrings again. Just a few more hours.
7:07am: familiar music plays in my head, stirring me awake. After shutting off my alarm, I lay back down to introvertly scan through my social media platforms, until I must get out of bed. I have a hurried half hour to eat, get ready, prep for later today, and get out of the house. Since Christmas Eve, I’ve felt this sense of hasten and I don’t like it. Hurry to get somewhere, see people I haven’t seen in awhile, enjoy the moment for a second, then hurry on to my next event. The only down time I have is when I’m going to the bathroom, driving, and sleeping.
Truly, I long to retreat to the comfort of silence. My introvert wants so desperately to rejuvenate from the running around and socializing, but it won’t until every little thing of this busy season dies down.
Just a few hours to myself.I can’t keep running like this, my body cannot take the beating. Go here, do this, do that, go there, do this, do that, how about here, you want to go here, they will be there and you need to see them. What would happen if I just said no to busy, busy, busy? No to spending my next few hours with you to go take time to myself; walk to the beach, take in the scenery, breathe in the fresh arctic air and turn back into me again. Just say no to busy, busy, busy.So, as I write this, while I am waiting for my next ‘be on my toes’ moment, I am enjoying the silence of just being. No distractions, no voices, no entertaining, and no need for the champagne bottle to explode with frustration; just me putting thoughts to paper in my little world of silence.